“I’m sorry you feel ____.”

“You shouldn’t feel that way.”

“What will make you feel better?”

I have heard phrases like these all my life. I think most of us have. Sentiments said by caring, well-meaning people who truly want to see us happy.

Sometimes it works. We feel better. At least temporarily.

More often, we bury the feeling that is so uncomfortable (uncomfortable to those well-meaning others as well as to ourselves), and the feeling grows and festers. Frustration grows to anger and then to rage. Sadness grows to grief. Unexpressed rage and grief grow to depression. And so on.

People often speak of certain emotions as being good or bad. Or that some are right and others wrong.

We try to make the “bad/wrong” ones go away – in ourselves or in others – by “thinking a happy thought,” thinking of others who “have it worse,” “bucking up,” and so on.

While it’s not good to wallow in emotions and give them control of how we experience life, all emotions are teachers, and when they are accepted and understood, they can inform us of ways to have a better life than we would have by ignoring them or “fixing them.” No emotion is bad or wrong, but many are uncomfortable (as the truth often is).

Recently I’ve come to a liberating awakening about a feeling that has ebbed and flowed as background and foreground in my life since pre-adolescence. I’ve been diagnosed by several psychiatrists over the past 45 years as “clinically, chronically” depressed, and prescribed various medications which I always opted not to take. (Please note: I do NOT advise avoiding medical advice! Research deeper and get a second opinion if you aren’t comfortable with it, but don’t ignore it!)

In its worst depths, I was suicidal. It wasn’t that I wanted to die, it’s that I was afraid and unsure how to live. But I was intensely curious about life, and that curiosity saved me. It enabled me to go on and to function.

I have always felt that my depression, since it was not so severe that it incapacitated me on a daily, moment-to-moment basis, was an opportunity to grow and learn something about my core self and psyche and soul, if I could only learn its language.

So I have sat with the emotional, physical and spiritual pain of it. I have listened.

At times, it has all but disappeared, leaving only a faint whisper reminding me of its presence. I was neither happy nor unhappy, emotionally alive or dead.

At other times, it has been a pit bull gnawing on the bone of my well-being and snarling at anything that smacked of joy and life.

And still other times, it was a vast dark pit – a wormhole into a deep void that was simultaneously both inviting and scary.

And there have also been times when it has been asleep or on vacation and I have had brief experiences of what I think is true happiness. I can’t be sure. That’s the nature of this omnipresent shadow.

I can tell you that the pit bull and the wormhole are better than being the undead. There is more aliveness and hope in the anger and the fear.

The liberating awakening that has finally emerged through this process is a sense that the depression, debilitating as it can be, is not truly depression at all, though it has many of the signs and symptoms. Once I accept it, understand its language, begin to learn what it had been trying to teach me, I realize that it is something quite different…

… a sacred sadness.

It is not here to stop me from having a life but to teach me a different way of life. It is a deeply vulnerable, empathic experience of intimacy with my own feelings and also the feelings of others.

Some Native American tribes have a phrase they use in many of their ceremonies to honor all who have come before, are present now, and are yet to come: “All my relations” (mitakuye oyasin). This is a term of reverence and reminder that we are all related as one people, and interrelated in the web of life. I have come to see that my sadness is a thread of that web. It is not depression unless I live it as such.

Each of us carries our own thread. Some of us are called to be a thread of joy; some a thread of shadow; some a thread of leadership. There are many threads and each one is sacred because each one plays a part in the weaving of humanity’s tapestry.

Of course, we all have pieces of every thread woven into our own, but I believe we each have a primary thread that is prevalent throughout our lives. Accepted and understood, it opens the way to our greatness and personal “superpower.” Ignored, it becomes our greatest enemy and downfall, our kryptonite.

Mine happens to be sadness. I carry a sadness for all people who have been hurt, wounded, saddened, isolated by their experiences in life, whether real or perceived. Knowing this frees my compassion and understanding. It allows me to know when and how I can be more available and when I need to take care of myself. It makes me a better coach, partner, friend. Embracing sadness frees my joy.

Seeing that, finally, has led to an immense liberation. I see how my relationships have been affected by my blindness to this thread or my fear of it. I see how my career has been both led by it and thrown off course by my reaction to it or self-preservation from it. Even my perception of who I am, my self-esteem, self-worth, self-care and self-respect have been affected by how well or poorly I reacted to it.

Among the many overall benefits of awakening to and accepting the sacred thread of your primary, underlying emotional energy include:

• Your awareness of all your other feelings improves;

• With that awareness, your ability to learn from your feelings and use them for a better life also improves;

• Your capacity to feel and express love and joy expands;

• Your boundaries improve;

• Your energy blossoms (it is VERY stressful, wearying and fruitless to deny, ignore or fight with this intrinsic part of yourself!);

• Your clarity for making better choices improves – in relationships, career, life;

• What hat weighed you down in life now lifts you up.

The thread does not go away – it is not supposed to. I will always have sadness. But now for the most part I have the sadness, it doesn’t have me.

Maybe you see yourself caught in an emotion or thought that seems to weigh you down or slow you down. If this speaks to you in any way and you’d like to have a conversation about it, contact me here.

The post A Sacred Sadness appeared first on George Herrick.

Some key buzzwords that you have probably been hearing more frequently lately are purpose, mindfulness, letting go, and desire. In response to what is happening in the world and in individual lives, people are tending to want more meaning in what they experience and to bring more value to what they do in the world.

Yet in all the chaos and uncertainty, these intentions seem elusive.

The other day, I posted this Cairn Meditation: “Are you doing what you are called to do, have to do, ought to do, or want to do? What would have to change so that all four of those could be perfectly aligned, all one and the same?”

These are the questions I ask my clients. They are important questions because they bring into focus what is most important to each person, and helps the person to prioritize his or her actions.

Peace of mind and serenity of spirit are always possible. It is vital to know what produces them in you.

So first…What are you called to do?  What is your passion?  What is the fire in your belly? That thing you would rather die doing than live not doing?

Sadly, but not surprisingly, few people know what that is. From a very early age, emphasis is placed on what you have to do to survive and should do to make others happy. Little to no importance is placed on what makes you come alive, with vitality and joy. So it is to be expected that you may not know what would do that.

For many people, even asking the question makes them feel selfish. “Who am I to be asking what my passion in life is? I should be happy to just have a job, work hard to keep it, and go home to care for my family.”

Well, that’s true! Following a passion does not argue with that. Rather it deepens it – because study after study has shown that most people do a better job at what they love than what they merely tolerate, regardless of their knowledge and skill level.

What is your spirit calling you to do, to be, to express? What lights you up? “Let your light so shine that people may see your good works…” What is your deep core truth guiding you toward? Be true to yourself, and the truth will set you free. Free to be all you are capable of and desire to be.

Most of us get stuck in a pattern of doing only what we

• Have to do to get by;
• Should do, according to someone else’s agenda for us; or
• Ought to do according to the script of old tapes playing in our minds.

Absolutely there are some things we must do to get by in the world. We need to eat, clothe ourselves, put a roof over our heads – and provide these things for our families. We need to earn a living.

We are social creatures, and so we need to do the things that keep us connected to our tribe – our friends and neighbors.

But ask yourself if there is truly a reason your musts can’t be aligned with the calling of your heart. Yes it may be hard. There may be some new skills to acquire or a new attitude to adapt. But many people are able to do it – why not you? And at the very least, if for a time all the circumstances, events and situations in your life prevent you from doing what you love, can you at least create ways to love what you do?

As for the “shoulds” and “ought tos,” these are the real bugaboos, because they are merely ghosts. But they are ghosts with enough substance so as to appear real. They are demons that certainly dogged me at different times in my life.

Do you know what a “should” is? It’s a “Subversive, Heartless Opinion, Undermining Life’s Desires!” It is a story that someone, perhaps well-meaning or maybe just full of their own agenda, placed on us that has no meaning for us except what we give to it.

I have long fingers with a wide spread, and I was told countless times I “should be a surgeon.” Except I’m squeamish around blood. Oops!

The shoulds and ought tos in your life need to be identified and triaged into one of four categories: Called to do, Must do, Want to do, or Stop doing. If you are not called to do it, don’t need to do it in order to survive, and don’t want to do it, why are you doing it?

We lose more serenity and peace of mind over shoulds and ought tos than all other actions and circumstances combined. And – here’s the worst of it – medical research is showing that these actions have a devastating negative impact on our physical and mental health. They weaken the immune system, open the door to stress-related illness, and make us susceptible to depression, panic, and other conditions.

Shoulds and ought tos usually cannot be aligned with desires and callings – they need to be transformed or eliminated. “But what will people say,” I often hear. The people who love you want the best for you. They may struggle with your changes, we all do that. But they will support you. As for those who don’t, well ask yourself if pleasing someone who wants you to risk your happiness, well-being and life for their agenda is worth risking your happiness, well-being and life over? Only you can decide that.

Finally, what is it that you want to do? What gives you joy, pleasure, satisfaction?

If following a calling seemed selfish to you, following joy will probably feel over the top! But again, this is what makes us truly effective and magnetic in what we do.

Think about it, none of us enjoys going to the dentist, but you know two who are on the same block, charge the same fee and are equally covered by your insurance: one exudes feeling grateful for the opportunity to help you, seems to genuinely like both the work itself and you as a patient, and appears confident and competent. The other seems equally competent but groans and moans about what a terrible career dentistry is and what morons the patients are. Who would you rather have drilling and filling in your mouth? Hopefully, that’s a no-brainer!

When you do what brings you joy in a way that brings you joy, you bring joy with you in what you do. How many times have you thought some version of “I wish I lived in a more joyful world?” Do what brings you joy and you will.

Now how do you bring all this into alignment? The simple answer is, “Do what you love; do what loves you; and love what you do.”

To align what you are called to do, must do and want to do, the first step is stop doing what isn’t among that. You can do pretty much anything, but you can’t do everything, so be discerning. What do you want your legacy to be? What do you want your reputation to be?

If we get so busy doing what has meaning, value, purpose and pleasure for us that we have no time for anything else… well, we won’t have time for anything else! Dan Millman, author of The Way of the Peaceful Warrior and many other books, once told me his definition of a spiritual warrior as we ate salads in a little bistro outside of Boston. He said a spiritual warrior makes good money doing what he loves to do serving other people.

“Good money” takes care of all of our physical needs for survival and comfort. “Doing what we love” takes care of our mental and emotional needs for stimulation and connection. “Serving others” takes care of our spiritual need to lift our own hearts by lifting others.

I challenge you to take some time, maybe an hour or so, to list your callings, musts, shoulds, and desires. And during that hour, I dare you to see what you are brave enough to whittle off the list. And finally I invite you to tweak or transform what remains into a potential way of life that is aligned with the best you can bring to the world.

It is within you. You deserve to bring it out, and to live it fully! This is the ultimate joy.

The post Wish There Was More Joy in the World? appeared first on George Herrick.

The Moon came full at 1:06pm EST today, March 5, with the energy to help all who asked her grow in their personal power. Mmm, yes, I’ve had enough, I surrender, I need some help.

But if you’re going to ask something, it’s simple respect to give something. So I wanted to give the moon a fire ceremony. It’s cold and snowy here on the Connecticut shore, with a blanket of clouds covering a waveless, slushy sea. I knew that when Luna rose, she would not be able to see herself and would likely feel the icy slap of winter. I think that when you are full of life and at your most glorious state of being, you should be able to see yourself and you should feel warm. I prepared to honor her with at least that, even if only symbolically.

This particular full moon carries the energy of expanding personal power to anyone willing to receive it. A fire ceremony is about receiving something you wish to attract or releasing something you wish to let go of. I’m thinking if Moon wants to give, I’m good with receiving. So at 1:06 I made an object of beauty that symbolized what I wanted to attract.

An earlier meditation made it clear to me that there are a certain five people who are seeking freedom from emotional, creative and life-dulling stuckness – BUT they don’t know it! That’s what I do, and I have five places available for them. This stood out for me because I rarely get such specific images or messages about work in my meditations. Yet I was being told to ask the Moon, via the fire, specifically for five people. I drew images of these five on a piece of paper to burn as an intention.

Low tide here was at 4:44pm. Three 4s represent creativity, self-expression and focus on the task at hand. Powerful stuff, given the focus of the ceremony! Right at 4:44 I started building a cairn, as I’ve been doing daily for 124 consecutive days. This one would serve as the altar for the ceremony.

Moonrise today was at 5:55pm. Three 5s represent family and adventure. Again, pretty powerful, since I was seeking new people for my tribe and I’m in the process of creating retreats and other adventurous experiences. At precisely 5:55 I began the ceremony with drumming and prayer. The moment I lit the fire, the breeze went still. The flame was safe and soon friendly.

I won’t describe the whole ceremony here – my ceremonies really have to be experienced, not described. You can’t savor the flavors or feel a nourishing satisfaction from someone’s description of a good meal. But as it ended, I washed my head and neck with the frigid waters of Long Island Sound, where the ice floes can be seen from space, and howled at a Moon I could not see. I surrendered, I asked. Now, it’s back to work. The tempering doesn’t happen by itself.

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As I walked in search of a ceremony spot, I inhaled cool, crisp, sun-soaked air, and with it the unmistakable earthy-scented early Autumn decay of those fresh-fallen leaves that crunched and crackled beneath my sneakered feet. I wandered off-trail into the wood, following where I felt led to go, deeper and deeper until I came to a cathedral of trees growing like spires in a circle, with fallen logs scattered aground like random pews.

In the Southwest of the circle stood one fairly ordinary tree that for no apparent reason compelled my attention to it. I approached it cautiously, fully cognizant of the sporadic outcroppings of poison ivy, to which I am highly allergic. I would have avoided the area because of this, but for some reason this year I have determined to respect the plant rather than fear it. I did get “stung” once this year, in July, but it was mild and brief – rare for me if I’m exposed. Usually I burst into a conflagration of welts and burning itch if I have even the slightest exposure. Maybe it prefers my respect to my fear.

I made my way to the tree and made gasho – bowed reverently – as I stood before it. I had a purpose for being here, after all, and I wanted the help of the forest and her spirits. My intent, I told the tree, was to both honor and elicit the Energy of the Spiritual Warrior, and to do so I came prepared to build an apachete (altar) and offer a ceremony. I had brought a few stones, some corn and copal, a spearhead and a feather. On the way to this cathedral spot, I gathered a few more pieces of nature that seemed appropriate. Finally I gathered a few things from the immediate area that seemed eager to participate.

And so slowly, methodically, intentionally, meticulously and open-heartedly, I began building the apachete. The tree was in the Southwest of the circle; in some traditions this is the pathway from the emotional to the physical aspects of life. I chose a spot in the sun – Ra, Sol, Phoebus… sun gods who bring life and light to the Earth and all who live here. The foundation stone was placed first, then the feather – a sort of prayer flag, icon, relic – at the front of the altar. The feather is turkey, symbolic of giving away freely and receiving graciously, which are traits of a warrior in service to something greater than his/her own desires.

Next, a column of stone was built toward the sun. A sculpture of balance, it could be thought of as a cairn – a symbol of direction and change of direction. To the South was placed the spearhead – a weapon of provision and protection – and to the north, a heart stone – an anti-weapon of compassion and understanding.

An assortment of stones were gathered as a community, as witness, as army, as village – as all who serve the warrior’s need and all who are served by the warrior’s valor. Then within this village were placed five smooth stones. David gathered five smooth stones from a river as his only arsenal against Goliath, and ultimately only needed one to slay the foe. Each of us has our symbolic five smooth stones within us – which one shall you choose to gain victory over whatever it is that would stop your aliveness from its fullest expression?

Anyway, finally the apachete was adorned with the beauty and softness of nature’s cashmere, ferns – essential to bring balance and grace to the sharp, firm edges of the warrior on alert. It was all made sacred with the blessings of corn (abundance) and copal (clarity and protection). Prayers were said. Songs were sung.

And to end the ceremony, the poison ivy, who takes no sides and makes no judgments, was honored as protector and defender of the sacred nature of the warrior’s soul, where intent and heartfulness dwell. It is intent and heart, after all, that differentiate the warrior, soldier and fighter. Each have their place, but this ceremony, this altar is to honor the warrior, the Spiritual Warrior who serves body, mind and spirit for the highest good of all life.

I left in peace and strength, vibrant from the power and love that radiated from this experience. It is good to show up for such things and to bring one’s self fully to what is being asked of him or her in the moment.

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“Less Stress, More Mojo” Join Me for The Creativity Meditation Experience If you are experiencing stress, doubt, confusion, overwhelm or are feeling generally weary, meditation and creative expression each have been shown to help overcome these distressing feelings. In “Less Stress, More Mojo” we’re going to have fun with BOTH meditation and creativity! We all have the ability to do both (though some may not realize it), and I will show you some simple, easy-to-do-on-your-own exercises to help you get back on track and feeling good – whether for yourself, your relationships or to improve your on-the-job creative abilities. You’ll have the opportunity to: • release your stress • let go of worry • amp up your ability to focus on what’s important to you • make positive decisions • get relaxed and centered whenever you need Come join others for a wonderful evening of relaxation and inventive play – Tuesday November 5, 2013 at 8:00 PM EST. To register, click on this URL:  https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/7414767022451260930 If you can’t make it at that time, the workshop will be recorded and available for 48 hours, but you MUST register for the workshop to have access to the recording. But please join us LIVE! That’s the best way to jump in and learn these easy techniques. (Won’t be at your computer? You can also join this workshop from your iPhone®, iPad® or Android® device via the GoToWebinar app.)     forward to a friend

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Have you ever said that? Ever believed it? Ever absolutely KNOWN it to be true? Probably – most of us have. We may have said it differently, like “I’ll never be as (strong, rich, successful, whatever) as so-and-so is,” or “I just wasn’t born to be a ______,” or some other message that keeps us from trying something.

That’s fine, if it is really true. But how do we know if it is really true? Simple: if we have tried it repeatedly, consistently and persistently, and have gotten qualified or experienced help and guidance, and have done our due diligence in researching and trying alternative ways to do it, and used every resource at our disposal, all to no avail, then perhaps, maybe, possibly, it might be true that we can’t do that thing.

But most of us give up trying long before the evidence shows we can’t do it. That’s not a problem if we discover that it just wasn’t as important to us as we thought, or it didn’t satisfy us the way we had hoped it would. But if it is something that we feel passionate about or feel deeply called to – if it’s our DREAM – then this kind of thinking is a big saboteur! It’s a mental predator that will destroy our resolve and eventually become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So before you believe something is impossible for you, first follow these steps to see if it is something you can, want to and are able to do:

1) Determine how important it is to you. Stephen King’s first book was rejected nearly 3 dozen times before it was finally published. Diana Nyad was willing to suffer great pain to swim from Cuba to Florida, and failed multiple times until she finally made it at age 64. Malala Yousafzai and her father Ziauddin are willing to face death in order that girls be able to get an education. Kevin O’Leary built a billion-dollar business from a $1,000 loan. What all these people have in common is commitment, determination and discipline. Are you hungry enough for your dream to do what it takes to achieve it?

2) Acknowledge whether it can be done at all, by anyone. If it can be done by someone, it can probably be done by you (if you have enough desire for it). You are what is possible. Let go of what blocks you and build on your strengths.

3) If it can be done and you want to do it, what will it take to do it? What tools or resources do you need? What help do you need and who can provide it? What stamina (mental and emotional as well as physical) do you need and do you have enough? Or do you need to repair, recharge and “reboot” yourself in preparation for the task ahead?

4) Do you have enough support? Do you have people in your life who will cheerlead you and empower you to follow your dream?

5) Make a plan that has specific, measurable steps you can take on a consistent, persistent basis. A plan that you can follow even on those days when you begin to doubt yourself or your dream – you probably WILL have those days!

6) Remember that Inspiration + Motivation + Perspiration > Success. So keep finding or creating ways to be inspired and enthusiastic about what you are doing, ways to keep your motivation on fire, and ways to keep working at it. If the dream is important enough to you, so are the steps necessary to make it come true.

7) HAVE FUN! If your dream is not making you happy, what’s the point of doing it?

When you find something that really matters to you, be willing to go to any lengths to pursue it. It’s not about the goal or dream itself – it’s more about you and what you bring to your dream. Though your dream may seem impossible, say to yourself “I’m possible!” and then go pursue your vision.

The post Believing Your “Impossible!” appeared first on George Herrick.

In the chaos and pressure so many of us experience in our lives these days, it can be a real challenge to find any relaxation, balance or peace of mind. It’s gotten so bad that some people have even begun to think that relaxation means wasting time and peace of mind is a pipedream!

Yet all of nature takes time to relax, renew, revitalize. We must, too, or we pay a heavy price with higher stress, stagnation of any real progress, increased problems at home or work, and even illness.

But we have many resources available to us to turn this downward spiral around. Two of the best are meditation and creative expression.

WHAT IS MEDITATION?

Meditation is the practice of stilling the mind and body to a beneficial state of pure, simple, conscious awareness, either for some purpose or as an end in itself. Because meditation involves quieting and relaxing the mind and body, it is really something we LET happen rather than MAKE happen. We let it happen by stopping what we are doing.

WHAT IS CREATIVITY?

Creativity means making or inventing something new, or transforming something into a new form. I sometimes joke that to be creative is to open up your “X Factor:” X-plore, X-periment, X-amine, X-press. It’s all about trying something you haven’t done, or doing something in a way you haven’t done it.

WHY MEDITATE – WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS?

It’s hard to pick up a magazine or visit the internet without seeing dozens of articles and reports on the physical, medical, psychological and emotional benefits of meditation. It lowers stress, improves heart function, improves memory function, helps muscles recover from strain… the list is long and getting longer as scientists continue to do research.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF CREATIVE EXPRESSION?

Current studies, particularly among the medical and psychological communities, are finding that many of the benefits of meditation are also true of creativity. In addition, performing creative acts also may help stimulate neuron connections in the brain – in other words, help us think more clearly and deeply. Again, research is finding more benefits every year.

WHAT IS A SIMPLE PROCESS FOR MEDITATING?

Here’s a very simple 5-step technique for basic meditation:

1. Begin with a simple little ritual of setting up a quiet environment – for example, turn phones and computers off, close the window blinds for some darkness, put on some soothing music.

2. Sit on a chair or the floor in a comfortable position and relax your body and mind to the extent that you can. Don’t force anything to happen or not happen.

3. Take a few deep breaths to help you relax more deeply. Then return to normal, natural breaths.

4. Focus your attention on something that doesn’t require you to think, such as noticing the inhale and exhale of your normal breathing, or on a spiritual word like “peace,” or on an object like a candle flame or a stone. This is a process of observation – gazing at – not one of analysis!

5. Whenever you realize that you are daydreaming, or thinking about something, or your body is itchy or twitchy, just return your attention to your breath, word or object.

Do this daily for about 15-20 minutes. That amount of time has the same positive effect on the mind and body as an hour of sleep (so it’s wise not to do it too close to bedtime!). You may not notice any immediate change or effect – the results are cumulative and may take some time before you notice a difference.

HOW CAN I PRACTICE BEING CREATIVE?

Here are 5 ways you can practice stimulating your creativity:

1. Doodling. Just make little drawings or symbols on a scrap of paper while you’re on the phone or watching TV.

2. Captioning photographs. Give photos a title, or if there are people or animals in the picture, give them a script of something to say – it can be humorous, deep, nonsensical; just use your imagination.

3. Make up some dance moves. Move aimlessly to some music, letting your arms swing and your legs jump or prance about. Be silly with it. Be careful you have enough room, then let yourself go nuts. If there’s no floor room, sit in a chair and just move your arms.

4. Get enough of the basic essentials of life: Air, Water, Exercise, Nutrition and Rest. Creativity thrives on good self-care.

5. Learn something new, then go teach it. This is possibly the most important. Learning something new stimulates the imagination and teaching what you’ve learned cements it in your thinking as a real change.

The more you practice, of course, the more creative skill and ease you will develop. But don’t worry about IF you are creative; everyone is. These tools will just help you have more command of your creativity. Enjoy!

The post Creativity and Meditation: appeared first on George Herrick.

We can stop this cycle. Everyone who has gone through the rigors of turning from addiction to recovery knows that it can be done. But it is not easy. It requires radical changes in thinking and action, a real shift in our paradigm. Those who have recovered also know, however, that it is worth the effort it takes to succeed.

This is not a rant – I don’t see much value in making shopping lists of who or what is to blame. Blame serves little purpose, because it does not change anything. Instead, if each of us – from individual to corporation to government – simply hold ourselves accountable for our own part of the problem, and if each do our part to be responsible for the solution, the shift would occur on its own.

I’m an unapologetic optimist – I believe in positive possibility. But I’m not naïve. Not everyone is going to commit to the work of radical change. However, little shifts lead to big differences, and recovery from addiction happens just that way. Incremental, progressive changes tend to be more lasting than splashy, flashy dramatic events, and they build on the momentum of intentional action.

I created this formula for clients who are committed to making positive changes in their lives:

Inspiration – what changes you want to make

+ Motivation – why you want those changes

+ Perspiration – how you will make the changes

+ Integration – who you will be as a result

Transformation – happens automatically as a result

I believe this same formula can work in the macrocosm of the culture as it does in the microcosm of the individual, and that is my dream and my challenge.

The big question, of course, is why change? Well if the economic instability, unemployment, chronic war, poor health, inadequate education, socioeconomic inequality, poor trade relations, political turmoil and all the other problems we create for ourselves are not reason enough, then perhaps we have become hopeless. I do not believe we have; I believe we are simply in denial that there is something we can do about it.

We do not need to get defensive or self-deprecating about what we have done to ourselves and our nation – we are human and we have individually and collectively made mistakes. But when we find that our habits are hurting us more than they are helping us, we have the capacity to change them.

Shifting the Paradigm

To begin both a personal and a cultural shift from our addictive habits and mindsets to a viable, practical recovery lifestyle, the process is simple yet challenging. We need to get HIGH:

      Honesty – to tell the truth, without agenda or manipulation;

      Integrity – to act with honesty, respect and sincerity;

      Gratitude – to appreciate all of life as either a blessing or an opportunity to learn;

      Humility – to be teachable and willing to grow and evolve.

Here is my challenge to you:

1. Commit to living those four principles to the best of your ability for a month;

2. Hold yourself accountable by telling at least one other person of your commitment and asking them to join you. Then support each other throughout the month.

3. Deepen your commitment by choosing not to do business with or spend your time with businesses, people, experiences, etc. that derail or interrupt you from this commitment.

I can hear the balking! “You’re joking, right? That is way too much to ask!!!” There is no question that this is a challenge, and will sometimes feel very uncomfortable, perhaps triggering feelings of fear or isolation. But those feelings will pass and the discomfort will ease with perseverance. You already have the capability to do it – the question is do you have the willingness to face temporary discomfort on behalf of long-term joy and freedom? This is doable, because people in recovery do it every day.

Those who have practiced this have seen remarkable results, with varying degrees of transformation from stress, overwhelm and “stuckness” to greater ease, serenity and vitality. The reason is simple: addiction thrives on denial, manipulation, dissatisfaction and closed-mindedness, whereas recovery thrives on honesty, integrity, gratitude and humility!

I hope you will accept the challenge, and if you do you can count on me to be available to support you, answer questions and encourage you. Just contact me at georgeherrick.com and let me know how you are doing.

This ends the series that began in April, “National Recovery Month,” but from time to time I will post follow-up articles to keep the momentum alive and the information current. Thank you for following the series, and for your participation – to whatever degree – in recovery. The world, and each of us in it, deserves to Live the Soul of Recovery, but it will not just happen, we must create it.

Until next time,

Keep your mind open to what is possible for you;

Keep your heart open to what is meaningful to you;

Keep your hands open to what is doable by you;

And keep your soul open to what makes you come joyfully alive.

The post The NEW PARADIGM – Creating a Cultural Recovery appeared first on George Herrick.

We are accountable for what we do and say, but we’re responsible for everything, including what we do and say. Responsible means, “able to respond.” Can we respond to everything? Of course, we actually do! We respond by doing something or not doing something. By commission or omission, consciously or unconsciously, we respond to everything we experience.

How we respond is up to us (although, of course, we are accountable for the response we make!). As the third Pillar of Living the Soul of Recovery, Mastery is about being conscious in our responses. That takes rigorous honesty, integrity, and personal ownership of our choices. It takes a willingness to be accountable.

You have some sort of an experience? How do you choose to respond to it? Likewise, you have a vision for your life? How do you choose to respond to that vision? Will you do whatever it asks of you or will you retreat in frustration or weariness? The three components that will guide and support us in making the right choices on behalf of our Vision are: Strategy, Action and Maintenance. Let’s take a look at each.

Strategy – How to Develop a Structure for Your Vision

A vision is just an idle daydream if we don’t create a plan for it. What will it take to make the vision a reality? What steps do we have to take? What help will we need?

Just as the 12 Steps are a structure for recovery in AA, the ABCDE model is a structure for recovery in Rational Recovery, and the 6 Guidelines are a structure for recovery in SOS, so do we need a structure to strategize and plan out how we will accomplish our vision for a great life in recovery. To get from here to there, the three questions in the previous paragraph are a simple but practical start for the process.

Action – How to Put Your Strategy to Work for You

There is work to do; a vision won’t manifest by itself. It needs daily attention. There is something we can do on its behalf every day, though what that something is will likely change from day to day.

Of the many ways we can build in accountability to keep ourselves on track with our strategy, one of my favorites is commonly used in business. It is called working SMART, which stands for:

Specific – what must you do for your vision, in clear, concise, succinct terms?

Measurable – how will you know for sure that you are making progress?

Achievable – Can each step be done? How?

Relevant – Do all the steps lead toward your vision?

Timely – How will you ensure that you neither rush it nor dawdle?

Maintenance – How to Develop the Agility, Resilience and Perseverance to Sustain Your AIM in Recovery

Perseverance is key to success in any endeavor. It is easy to keep going when everything is running smoothly, going our way, and enjoyable. But we are going to hit rough spots, challenges, frustrations. Sometimes it may seem like the universe is conspiring against us instead of for us. How do we stay on track when the going gets tough?

A few of the many tools that can help you go with the flow while staying on target include:

1. Be like a hawk. A hawk can see the whole panorama and the details of the little mouse at the same time. But what does the hawk do? It glides on the air currents, relaxing until it has the energy and the mouse is in the right spot – then the hawk strikes. Be focused but patient. Do the next right thing, don’t do everything at once.

2. Be like a wolf. Did you know wolves choose their leaders by who is most creative or playful? Take your vision seriously, but at the same time have fun with it. Be curious, creative, playful.

3. Be like a cat. When a cat is at rest, it rests completely. Yet if there is a sound that resembles food, toy or prey, the cat’s little ear will follow that sound. It is determining what the sound is and how close. Even when a cat is doing one thing, it is aware of what’s around it.

So now you have the basic outline for keeping your AIM (Awareness, Intention and Mastery) on the target of an empowered, enthusiastic and enjoyable long-term recovery. There is so much more to Living the Soul of Recovery, and I hope you’ve enjoyed this taste of it.

The post MASTERY – Making It Happen, Keeping It Going appeared first on George Herrick.

Many recovery circles talk about going where we are led, of getting “out of the driver’s seat.” There is some wisdom in that, but at the same time it is important to know who or what is leading us or driving us, and where we are going.

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other 12-Step programs, the answer to that is God or the Higher Power of our individual understanding. Step 11 says in part, “…praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”

But how do we know God’s will, or if we’re not believers, how do we know our heart’s deep desire? I believe they are one and the same. The major religions and philosophies refer to it as our “calling” or purpose. This calling is the basis for our Intention if we are to be true to ourselves. At issue here is aligning three questions: Who am I? Who do I want to be? Who am I called to be? When we can find the single thread that weaves through those questions, Intention is clear.

There are three components – Vision, Power and Embodiment – that make up the second pillar of Living the Soul of Recovery, which guide us to bringing the answers to those questions into alignment. Here is an overview of them.

Vision – How to Create a Vision for Your Life

What is the deep desire of your heart and soul? We tend to think of desire in terms of acquisition and/or accomplishment. There is nothing wrong with that. But they are things, symbols, and are only representations (at best) what we really seek. True desire goes deeper, into the meaning and sense of purpose in life that no external thing or achievement can truly fulfill.

The real desire is not so much about what you want to have in life. It is a little more about what you want to do in life. But it is mostly about who you want to be in life. This is what to envision. Imagine what it would look like, feel like, and be like to embody this deep desire.

One way to think about it is what impact do you want to have or what legacy do you want to leave? And why is that important to you? See it as clearly as you can in your mind’s eye. Recognize it in others. Notice it in the pictures or movies or videos you see.  Get as clear and vivid an image as you can of what calls you to step into the fullness of you’re your possibility.

Power – How to Use Your Unique Talents and Abilities on Behalf of Your Vision

Once you have a vision for the life you deeply desire and are called to, how will you achieve it? What are the thoughts, beliefs and actions necessary for you to manifest this life?

This is where your power comes into play. By this I mean your true power, your capabilities, not control, which is only the illusion of power. True power is seated in your Essence (see the previous blog) and is built by the persistent expression of your inner attributes, values and truth. It is in being a person of integrity and positive intention that you align with this power.

When we truly commit ourselves, to the best of our ability, to what has the greatest meaning, purpose and joy for us, all kinds of synchronicities (coincidences) come to our aid to empower and support us further. Events, circumstances, people, opportunities all but conspire to pave our way.

Embodiment – How to Sharpen and Ground Your Vision

It is not enough, however, to see where we want to go or what changes and actions are necessary to get there. The desire has to be felt – viscerally and emotionally – as deeply as possible. When we embody our passion, another term people use for this heart and soul desire, we make it as real and palpable as we can so it is not like some theoretic concept in our imagination but a real part of us, just waiting to come to fruition.

Then the task is simply to do the things that keep replicating that feeling. We have all heard stories of long-distance runners imagining and feeling the thrill of breaking the tape at the finish line, or singers who walk into an empty arena and can “hear” the concert crowd cheering their performance. This is embodiment. Sensing, feeling and being our way through the right actions and into the life we desire.

Lest you think that this process is impossible, rest assured that we can’t do any of this 100%. Becoming more fully aware of our wisdom and essence (previous article) and our vision and power is an unfolding, like a flower blooming. But this blooming takes a lifetime. Each day we just do our best, without excuses or rationalizations or negative self-judgment.

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